Kathy Zucker

Award winning writer • startup founder • mom of 3

Uncategorized

Create Opportunities For Children To Celebrate Their Heritage

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What can I put in the red envelopes? she asks. I think fast. I have bags of dark ‪chocolate‬ purchased for ‪Valentines Day‬. But this? Is more important. Why? Because Chinese New Year is the one chance my ‪children‬ have each year to celebrate their ‪heritage‬.

Soon, all three ‪kids‬ are clamoring for envelopes to give to ‪friends‬. Who took my bag of ‪money‬? one cries. Calm down. There is plenty for everyone. And yes, you can eat the leftovers.

I have spent my entire life being told I am not Chinese enough. I do not speak the language. Everything I know about the customs, I have learned from books. And yet, I am 100% ethnically Chinese. Why do I know so little about my heritage? Because my family has been in this country for over a hundred years. My children have triple college legacy. That’s right, their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents all attended Ivy League schools. Will my kids wind up there? Maybe yes, maybe no. I see my primary role as a parent is to help my children find and feed their passions. If they are on fire to learn something and dedicate endless hours to learning everything they can about it, I will do everything I can to help them pursue that path. But if something is not the right fit? Then no amount of prodding will ever make it work.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Care For Your Community

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Would you like some tylenol? I ask. Yes! the fencer replies. I pull a sealed bottle of medication out of my handbag. Pour two gel capsules into her waiting palm. Hopefully that will bring down your fever.

I am standing by the side of a fencing strip. Minutes earlier, my ‪#‎husband‬ was competing here. My three kids are ensconced on a bench, watching kid videos on my phone via the club wifi connection. In a crowded room, chairs are a scarce commodity. Can we stay and watch my friend fence? husband asks. Sure. My afternoon work meeting got rescheduled for this morning, so I am all clear for the rest of the day.

A cluster of women’s épée fencers arrive. My weapon. And also? My division. I quickly assess the field. One fencer stands out. I nudge my nine year old daughter. Look at her. She’s really good. And she’s tall, like you are going to be. When the fencer unhooks, we start talking. And that is how I wind up giving her fever medication.

Twenty years ago I was a walk-on athlete for my college fencing team. A friend needed a chaperone for a national competition and knew her family would accept me. After a whirlwind trip to California, I qualified for my first and last junior fencing event. The friendship didn’t last, but my love for fencing was born on the spot. The stance felt awkward. I developed an injury in the first few months. But something kept drawing me back. I remember the first time my body executed an action on its own, flawlessly parrying an incoming blade and riposting to score a touch.

Fencing never bores me, unlike every other sport I have played. The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. The older I get, the more closely I bond to the sport and community. Once you are a fencer, you are always a fencer. And I am married to someone who is instantly recognizable wherever we go, plus I have earned standing in my own right from my results as a competitive athlete in the years between college and parenthood. Fencing provides friendship and a warm welcome as clubs all over the world open their doors to my family.

And now? That community is extending its embrace to the next generation. Last week, I attended a practice where I watched the daughter of an old friend giggle and bond with my nine year old daughter. I never know who I am going to see at fencing tournaments. But every time I reconnect with a friend? It is an absolute joy.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Fuel the Future With Gifts From Friends

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Chips. Faded colors. I cradle my favorite mug in my hands as I swallow gulp after gulp of warm, weak tea.

For the last year since friends gave it to me, this mug has fueled the start of every writing session. Two mugs provide enough hydration to keep me going for hours. I develop a morning routine. Wake up. Boil water. Drink two mugs along with a sweet treat. Put away clean dishes. Start a load of laundry. All the while, I am conscious of my laptop, summoning me with a siren’s lure. Only when I have cared for myself and my family do I begin my work day.

Two years ago, I began writing a book. The idea came to me gradually. The moment it crystallized? Was when I received multiple job offers for highly prestigious positions. And? I turned them all down. Why would I do that? After all, the entire reason why I have been an entrepreneur since the birth of my first child was so I could return to my corporate career. By making sure I have no gaps in my resume plus possess solid references, that goal was within my grasp. Walking away was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And yet, I know it was the right decision. Why? Because I am not done with the path I am currently on. If I walk away now, I will lose momentum. And there is no guarantee I will ever be able to recapture it.

Two months ago, something happened that validated my decision to keep going. I was invited to speak at the United Nations as part of their International Women’s Day celebrations. On March 5th, I will be a community panel member for the Speak Up Women conference. Also? My new book will be making its debut at the event bookseller’s table. I am racing to get ready – every spare moment is going into preparing my speech, while I work with my publishing team to make sure the book is ready in time.

I figured things would start happening once my youngest child began full-time school this fall. But this? Far exceeds my wildest fantasies. And none of it would be possible without all the amazing people in my life. I am grateful for your kindness and friendship as you help me over and over again.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Prepare Your Children To Take On The World

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I am tired, she says. Let me sleep. The words are on the tip of my tongue. Get up. Get dressed. Go to school. But the words die on my lips. Because today? She is a baby, full of innocent joy that brings smiles in her wake. Tomorrow, she will be a baby. But all too soon, those smiles will turn to swords when people realize what she represents. A woman, full of strength. And then the full force of the world will come out to strike her down. Put her in her place. Keep her fixed like a magnificent insect fluttering helplessly on a board.

Later today, I will bring her to a place where she will play with swords. Hug another little girl. Race wildly around and around an enormous room, chasing bigger kids. She will come home. Demonstrate the moves she has learned. Her father will glance at me, eyes wide. That is pretty good footwork, he will say. And all the while, she will not realize that every step is preparing her to fight and kill. To chase down opponents and strike to the heart. Because all too soon, the world will be arrayed against her. And all I can do now? Is let her rest.

I spent years conforming in silence. Doing as I was told. I apologized. Was slow to defend myself. And one day? I picked up a sword. The stance felt awkward. Watching experienced fencers compete left me in a blur of confusion at the speed of their actions. I injured myself in the first few months of practice. But something kept me coming back again and again. And one day? Everything clicked. My body executed an action perfectly all by itself. No thought. No premeditation. Just action and counter action, completed without my realization.

I began learning my strengths. My absolute favorite maneuver? An all out attack. I excel at acceleration, slowly building momentum until by the time my opponent realizes I am coming, it is too late. But each fleche attack? Requires endless patience as I prepare for it. Wait for my opponent to become lulled by the hypnotic blade actions. Save it for a big moment, when I need to psychologically crush my opponent. And then execute, soaring through the air to strike the heart. My husband has been moved to tears by my perfectly timed fleches. I am unusual among female fencers in that I fleche without having the blade – most women need the security of knocking their opponent’s weapon out of the way. Each fleche is an absolute leap of faith and confidence. And when I land a hit, it is the most exhilarating feeling in the world.

Do I fleche perfectly every time? Absolutely not. Often, I am impatient to recapture the magic of the moment. I rush. Launch too many attacks, so my opponent is ready and waiting with the correct counter action. But when I plan carefully? Save up my attacks for the perfect moment? They are absolutely magical. And one day, I hope to share that experience with my children.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Make Your Children Proud To Belong To You

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I knew from a young age that I would most likely wind up marrying a ‪‎Jewish‬ man. I dated people from a wide variety of backgrounds, and I simply did not feel comfortable with anyone else. Why? you ask. After all, I am ethnically Chinese‬. Shouldn’t I feel most comfortable with other Chinese people? No. For the overwhelming majority of ‪Asian‬ Americans, their experience is an ‪immigrant‬ one. Mine is not. My ‪husband‬’s family and mine came to the ‪United States‬ around the same time. We share similar cultural ‪experiences‬ and ‪memories‬.

I grew up surrounded by mixed race ‎kids‬. The one thing I noticed again and again? Embarrassment at the Asian ‪parent‬. I once attended a class taught by a ‪Eurasian‬ instructor who was passing as white. When I outed him to his students, I got angry phone calls. So when I became a parent? I swore never to allow my ‪children‬ to be ashamed of me, or their Asian heritage. And they are not. If you ask them about their ethnic background, they will tell you they are Chinese. Oh yes, and Jewish.

How have I accomplished this? By being the most visible member of the ‪‎family‬. Today, my oldest ‪daughter‬ came to me and fell on the bed, giggling because a classmate saw her on television and kept following her around all day, whispering “Smush the clown.” When the coolest things that happen to my children come through me, I am the first thing they talk about, not the last.

I have always gotten attention. For whatever reason, I am memorable. It used to make me extremely uncomfortable to have people approach me. During my corporate career, I tried to hide. To fade into the background at conferences and meetings. Eventually, I came to realize that as long as I am going to get attention, I might as well own it. Make it work for me. For the last seven years, that is exactly what I have done. And the pace? Has accelerated over the last two.

I made my husband a promise when our children were babies – I would not make the kids do anything they were uncomfortable with. And I kept that promise. When our son stopped enjoying baby modeling, I did not renew the agency contract. All three kids LOVE going on television. They have been complaining about my recent appearances without them – I promised I would start looking for opportunities for them during school breaks.

Also? While my constant changing keeps giving my husband whiplash, it has reinvigorated our marriage. After he gets accustomed to each change, I can see his pride in me increase. My husband talks openly about me at his job. When I visit, co-workers ask about my new book and upcoming speaking engagements.

Every day I wake up grateful for everything I have. Because I have far more than I ever dreamed possible.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

The #FlintWaterCrisis Could Happen To Any of Us

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Sick children. Adults. Neon-colored water. Sounds like something out of a horror movie, right? Except this is taking place right now in the United States. And? This is not the first time this has happened. Today, I learned that in 2004, lead poisoning also contaminated the municipal water supply of an American city. Which one? Washington D.C.

So what happened? When officials were first notified of the water crisis in the nation’s capital, their response was speedy and thorough, right? No. In what was eerily echoed in Flint, MI in 2015, officials first denied there was a problem and then falsely claimed there was no health risk. Every single person in those municipalities was poisoned with lead for years longer than necessary.

We all make mistakes. Some errors have greater ramifications than others. The right thing to do? Is to own them right away. Apologize. Do our best to fix them. That is NOT what happened in either Washington D.C. or Flint.

Why am I so passionate about this issue? Because I have experience with lead poisoning. A routine blood test turned up elevated lead levels in one of my children. The kid had been sucking on magazine pages. And magazine ink? Contains lead. You can be sure I instantly cut down on the access to reading materials for all three of my kids.

There is no safe minimum for lead exposure. Also? Lead stays in your body for the rest of your life. My kid has undergone annual lead testing as a result of that early reading – fortunately the lead has not impacted neurological development. My heart goes out to the thousands of parents in Washington D.C. and Flint, MI who will be dealing with the ramifications of their children’s poisoning for the rest of their lives.

How can you help? Raise your voice. Contribute your time and money to something that is a nationwide crisis waiting to happen.

Why? Because your town could be next.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.