Kathy Zucker

Award winning writer • startup founder • mom of 3

Speak Up

Give Gifts You Want To Keep For Yourself

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It’s sunny today, can you fill my ‪water‬ table? my ‪toddler‬ asks. Three days ago, I bought the table as a ‪gift‬ for the first ‪birthday‬ of a ‎friend‬’s ‪baby‬ son. As soon as I got it ‪home‬, I realized there was no way I would be able to keep such a large box in the house without the ‪kids‬ seeing – and wanting – it. So I gave it to them, and ordered a second table to be delivered to my ‪friends‬.

For days, the table has sat in the chilly sun after my eight year old ‪#‎son‬ assembled it all by himself. And now? All three kids splash in the warm water and laugh as they send ‪Nemo‬ flying through the air.

Two weeks ago, I withdrew my children from aftercare. Why? Because they weren’t using it. Between after-school ballet, fencing, and playground trips, it became a race for me to get them from school before the aftercare picked them up. Also? My book is written, and is at the printer. I am incredibly grateful to the kind aftercare staff for helping my family get through a long and challenging winter.

It is time to get ready for summer. And summer? Means outdoor family fun. I am looking forward to many more days like yesterday, when the kids and I rolled out of bed and decided how to spend the day.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Show The World What You Stand For With Every Step You Take

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Your ‪husband‬ must be so proud of you, the sales clerk says. He is, I respond. Every time I do something like speak at the UN, it makes his stock go up at ‪work‬. There are a bunch of people at his job who follow my ‪career‬, they are always asking about what I am up to.

I am standing in the dressing room of my favorite store. I have just tried on a variety of ‪outfits‬, ranging from leisure wear to an ‪orange‬ ‪silk‬ shirt that drew me to the rack like a magnet to a lodestone. So when the sales clerk asked why I always wear ‪pink‬? I showed her the garments I had chosen and explained how each one helps me be a ‪walking‬ advertisement for my ‪business‬.

My husband works very long hours. Yesterday, he came home exhausted after dealing with a database outage that derailed the project he was working on. He spent the evening finishing this project from our bedroom.

While he was working, I fed the kids dinner. Supervised a playdate with two other families. Fielded requests for us to attend events this weekend. And in between taking care of my family? I got ideas for work projects, that I filed away to execute after the kids went to bed.

My husband and I are equally committed to our family. However, his work takes priority over our family schedule. And my work? Fits around our family.

Why did I agree to this arrangement? Am I less capable than my husband? Did I earn less money before we had children? No and no. I agreed to this setup – indeed, initiated it – because this was the only way I could have three children.

Childbirth is physically exhausting. I also have difficult pregnancies, plus am committed to breastfeeding. With each child, I lose 18-24 months of my life. It is only now, when my youngest child is four, that I am back to where I was before I became a parent. And now? We are extremely fortunate that my husband has a job that involves no travel plus allows him to handle the morning routine for our older two children. But we have three tiny people who have softball games and dance classes. Whose tummies hurt and need to be picked up early from school because their eyes hurt from allergy season.

With each child, the odds go up exponentially that something will happen requiring the physical presence of a parent. That means many families have only one or two children. The greatest gift my being an entrepreneur has given my family? Is a third child who fills all our lives with joy.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Find Activities That Fit Your Entire Family – Liberty Science Center Summer Camp

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Did you sign me up for the special ‪‎summer‬ class? my ‪‎toddler‬ asks. I launch into a lengthy explanation about her ‪school‬ camp options. Stop when I realize what she is referring to. Oh, you mean the Liberty Science Center little ‪kid‬ camp, I say. Yes, you are all registered for that.

Each spring, I longingly read through the summer ‪camp‬ options at LSC. I count down the years until my eldest ‪child‬ is eligible to attend. This year, as she enters fifth grade, is the first that she is old enough to attend. And much to my surprise and delight? There are new camp offerings for younger ‪kids‬, so I registered all three of my children.

Several years ago, I set myself a challenge. Go to events open to the public and find a way to have special experiences similar to the ones I get when I attend private events. It was definitely a challenge, since public events tend to be extremely crowded plus have many fewer staff members in attendance.

I set myself several ground rules. Do not tell anyone in advance that I am coming. Show up armed only with what I normally carry with me, specifically my handbag and DLSR camera. And also? Bring my family with me.

The results? Were extraordinary. It turns out that when you are patient and friendly, people will go out of their way to help you. I learned in several instances that the absolute worst thing I can do is wave my press credentials around. Simply being a mom has gotten my entire family into places like Philadelphia Independence Hall, where there is a six month waitlist for tickets.

Why do I do this? Why don’t I simply accept the numerous invitations for private events that flood my email inbox? Because the best way for me to write about experiences is by behaving like a regular person. If I have a gold VIP star next to my name on a list then I find I cannot accurately answer questions about pricing and access.

One of the reasons why I chose to send my children to public school is because I want them to have experiences that anyone can have. And this summer will be more of the same since Liberty Science Center is making the program accessible to kids from a wide range of backgrounds.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Create a Community That Cares About Your Family’s Success

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We have to hurry ‪home‬ so I can get ready for the party, I say. I have just picked my ‪kids‬ up from ‪school‬. My hair is wet. I am wearing a ‪pink‬ ‪silk‬ button down shirt and no makeup. Every adult I encounter takes a second look and says, have ‪fun‬ tonight!

Let’s put the presents in the ‪car‬ so you don’t forget them, my ‪daughter‬ says. She and her ‪siblings‬ helped pack and decorate original ‪art‬ of my ‎college‬ ‪fencing‬ ‪team‬ created by a renowned graphic ‪artist‬. And when the babysitter arrives? I race out the door.

Two days ago, I drove into Manhattan. Called my husband to meet me at the car, and then walked together through the gathering dusk carrying packages and bags to a building I have walked past hundreds of times. And inside? Gasped at the white marble stairway. The soaring glass walls with steps wrapping around them. And when I entered the banquet room? Smiled involuntarily to see a room full of people I adore.

I sat at a table draped in white linen. All around me, people clustered so closely that when honorees approached the stage, we had to shift seats to make room for them to pass. The only way I could make my way to the back of the room for a much-needed bathroom break was by tiptoeing out to the garden that spanned the length of the dimly lit ballroom. When I returned, the room was dark while a movie played on stage. I stood at the back of the room in companionable silence with the coach, waiting for a moment when I could return to my seat. I watched faces unguarded by darkness as they laughed at scenes from the past year.

During memorable moments, I wish for a bottle to capture the scents and sounds that surround me. All too soon, they will vanish as people depart for their various destinations. In the next few months, students will graduate and scatter like petals tossed on the wind to far-flung locations. Much as I would like to, I cannot freeze time. The next best option? Is to return to scenes of the past and imbue them with new meaning.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Create Symbols That Help You Stand Out In a Crowd

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I look at the shirt hanging in the closet. Look again. I have been avoiding this moment for months as I slowly declutter my wardrobe. I have tried on business suits. Tailored pants. Boxy button down shirts. All have gone in a bag to be donated to a local charity that helps women get back to work. Each time, I have deliberately avoided the corner where this wildly patterned #silk shirt hangs. But now, the moment of reckoning has arrived. I will never wear this shirt again, and I know it.

Why do I cling to this shirt? Because it represents the moment when the tide of my life began to shift. I bought this shirt when my two older children were babies, on a shopping trip to the store where I bought everything from baby formula to refrigerator light bulbs. Wore it when I had professional pictures taken for the first time since #college. One of those photos became my profile picture on social media.

And when I wore this shirt walking down the street? People did double takes as they recognized me.

Swim goggles. Olives for my husband. Laundry detergent. When I go shopping, at a glance my cart is loaded with items that add up to a whopping total at the cash register. But if you look more closely at the cart? You will see that there is nothing in there for me. And that? Is the normal state of affairs.

When I began working from home, I stopped spending money on myself. With the arrival of our first child, every available dime was sucked into the black hole of her needs. I was unable to successfully breastfeed, so formula consumed a substantial portion of our household budget. And with plans for another child, there was no point in spending money on clothing that would not fit in a matter of months.

I kept everything in the early parenting years. Bags of boy and girl clothing in case we decided to have a third child. Toys. And also? My work wardrobe. I had one goal when I became an entrepreneur – to keep my career alive so I could return to work when the children grew older and more self-sufficient. Those business suits and button down shirts were a promise to myself, a symbol of a future when I could reclaim my paycheck.

The day when I could fit back into my work clothes is one that shines in my memory. Why? Because it was a step toward independence. But also? Because it was the day I was mistaken for a waitress. I dug out a jacket and skirt to attend a fundraiser to benefit a local park. By dressing professionally, I was making a statement that I was moving toward returning to work. But in a room filled with casually – and expensively dressed – moms, I looked more like the wait staff.

The moment when I made my way to the bathroom, only to have a mom reach out and touch me on the arm to ask for more bread? Was the moment when I knew I had to begin investing in myself. Specifically, in my wardrobe. And now? Eight years later, I have a closet full of separates that I can mix and match to take me anywhere and make it instantly clear what I stand for.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Create Winners Everywhere You Go

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Don’t hire me, hire my friends, I say. Minutes before, a person suddenly appeared by my side and asked to work with me. Why? Because I pulled out an enormous DLSR camera complete with onboard microphone, to photograph an unusual necklace.

I am attending the VIP #brunch for an awards ceremony. This is the fourth year I have been in attendance – the first year I was a winner, the subsequent years a judge. And that is how I met these two ladies, because I judged both of them in teen activist categories. And? They both won.

The last month has been simply extraordinary. From speaking at the United Nations to watching my college team win the NCAA championships for the second year in a row, and then attending my fourth Shorty Awards four days ago, my mind and heart are full. I have been thinking and processing all of these events as I race between sick kids and the grocery store, and I have come to one conclusion. The only reason why I was present at any of them was because someone took a chance on me each time.

I do not have huge social media numbers. The largest following I have ever had was 30,000, back when hurricanes kept flooding the town where I live. And now, my numbers are much lower. Why? Because I fled from the spotlight. I thrive on human connection. Interaction. Intimacy. And there was a time when I was getting stopped constantly on the street by people who had shared memorable moments with me. And? I could not remember them. It turns out that my memory has a ceiling. And even though I have always been good at remembering faces and personal details, I was forgetting almost everyone I interacted with because there were just too many of them. That experience terrified me. And I swore never to let it happen again.

So what does that mean? In a social media world where numbers count, at a glance I do not fit in. I attend events where everyone else in attendance has follower counts that are ten to 100 times as large as mine. So why do I get invited, and treated as an equal? Because I have forged a bond with an organizer. At some point in the recent past, I have done something that made them want to take a chance and include me. And every time, I come away with new close bonds. Those people are the reason why I do what I do. And that is why I tell sponsors not to hire me. I am not what they are looking for. But my friends? Often are.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.