Kathy Zucker

Award winning writer • startup founder • mom of 3

fencing

Find Yourself – 2016 #NCAAFencing Championships

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There are moments in every person’s life when you have the opportunity to make an impact on other people’s lives. And along the way? To find your place in the world.

I spent this past weekend at the NCAA Fencing Championships in Waltham, MA. And? I was there without my husband. I missed him every moment of every day. Every time I ran into someone I knew – and I knew probably half of the coaches and officials because I used to fence with them – they asked if Noah was there. My answer? I left him home with the kids.

Why did I go to the most prestigious college tournament without my husband, a two-time All-American and someone so synonymous with college sports that for decades, people have approached him on the street because they recognized him from our school newspaper? Because I needed to do this.

I had a stealth fencing career, primarily after college. I remember a fencer coming into the locker room at our club and saying, I took a look at the results list from a NAC and you are really good! She had no idea that I was consistently making the top 32 at national competitions. And she wasn’t the only one. People largely identify me with administrative roles in the fencing world. But the reality is that at the same time as I was serving on boards of directors and running tournaments, I was also training and competing at a pretty high level. My husband and I used to fence each other multiple times a week – when we started again this fall after an absence of a decade, the experience was so familiar and joyful that we both started laughing. We are competitive with each other, don’t get me wrong. We both want to win all the time. But that doesn’t stop us from recognizing what the other needs to do, and getting out of each other’s way.

And that is what happened this weekend. Was my husband jealous that I got to watch our college win it all? Absolutely yes. But he also knew that I need to get out from under his shadow and establish my own identity. I can more than stand on my own in the fencing community. And now the entire world knows that.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.

Prepare Your Children To Take On The World

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I am tired, she says. Let me sleep. The words are on the tip of my tongue. Get up. Get dressed. Go to school. But the words die on my lips. Because today? She is a baby, full of innocent joy that brings smiles in her wake. Tomorrow, she will be a baby. But all too soon, those smiles will turn to swords when people realize what she represents. A woman, full of strength. And then the full force of the world will come out to strike her down. Put her in her place. Keep her fixed like a magnificent insect fluttering helplessly on a board.

Later today, I will bring her to a place where she will play with swords. Hug another little girl. Race wildly around and around an enormous room, chasing bigger kids. She will come home. Demonstrate the moves she has learned. Her father will glance at me, eyes wide. That is pretty good footwork, he will say. And all the while, she will not realize that every step is preparing her to fight and kill. To chase down opponents and strike to the heart. Because all too soon, the world will be arrayed against her. And all I can do now? Is let her rest.

I spent years conforming in silence. Doing as I was told. I apologized. Was slow to defend myself. And one day? I picked up a sword. The stance felt awkward. Watching experienced fencers compete left me in a blur of confusion at the speed of their actions. I injured myself in the first few months of practice. But something kept me coming back again and again. And one day? Everything clicked. My body executed an action perfectly all by itself. No thought. No premeditation. Just action and counter action, completed without my realization.

I began learning my strengths. My absolute favorite maneuver? An all out attack. I excel at acceleration, slowly building momentum until by the time my opponent realizes I am coming, it is too late. But each fleche attack? Requires endless patience as I prepare for it. Wait for my opponent to become lulled by the hypnotic blade actions. Save it for a big moment, when I need to psychologically crush my opponent. And then execute, soaring through the air to strike the heart. My husband has been moved to tears by my perfectly timed fleches. I am unusual among female fencers in that I fleche without having the blade – most women need the security of knocking their opponent’s weapon out of the way. Each fleche is an absolute leap of faith and confidence. And when I land a hit, it is the most exhilarating feeling in the world.

Do I fleche perfectly every time? Absolutely not. Often, I am impatient to recapture the magic of the moment. I rush. Launch too many attacks, so my opponent is ready and waiting with the correct counter action. But when I plan carefully? Save up my attacks for the perfect moment? They are absolutely magical. And one day, I hope to share that experience with my children.

Kathy Zucker is an international social media Shorty Award winner, mother of three and a startup founder at companies including the Metro Moms Network®.